Perfect
by MorbidOptimist
Summary: GLaDOS thought the simplest choice was the best, however, the supercomputer was never one to settle for anything less then perfect.  Rated M for safety.


Disclaimer: I own nothing please don't sue me. Or bake me. I don't even want the cake. I swear!

Review if you want to.

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><p>Perfect.<p>

It had taken only a few minutes for the thought to surface after her test subject left. It had taken her two minutes to deduce just what, exactly, her mind had meant by that. It had taken almost 4.57 hours and an extra 36 seconds for GLaDOS to scan _all_ of her processors to find the origin of the thought and then it had taken her 12.5 hours of almost continuous logic to figure out what it was she intended to do about it. -Tasks that were not easily accomplished when most of her attention was channeled into fixing the facility while simultaneously checking the hundreds of stored test subjects for any mental activity _and_ keeping a watchful eye on both the co-op bots and her mute test subject via the cameras and sensors in her Aperture Science Weighted Storage Companion Cube. Of course, being the world's brightest and most powerful supercomputer, it certainly wasn't anything to difficult to accomplish if she did say so herself. Which she did.

Unfortunately, against her desired circumstance, the new found subjects were alive in the strictest form, but were no more capable of testing than that _blasted_ potato she had been stuffed into. She had been quite tempted to release the deadly neurotoxin that day but didn't, as releasing deadly neurotoxin into a chamber of nearly dead test subjects would not gain her any knowledge or satisfaction of having any of their reactions. With that, she had once again sealed off the chamber, almost disheartedly, idly stockpiling it until such a day that science could reanimate their brains while lamenting her ability to run full and correctly protocoled tests. She couldn't test without a human. Or, rather, she was unable to test without a fully functioning and free thinking human, and so far, in the compilation of her entire history, there had only been a handful of perfect test subjects –with a few deadly outliers- she might add.

That said test subject {REDACTED} was still on the surface, and GLaDOS, as much as she hated to admit it, was unsettled by the fact that Caroline had put her there. She had of course tried to delete said personality but soon realized that one cannot simply delete who they are. Caroline had spent so much time in the AI that the two personalities had almost melded together, and now, though GLaDOS wasn't plagued with memories and thoughts that weren't hers, she still saw {REDACTED} as something created, cultivated, and belonging to her. _She_ had been the one to push the dangerous lunatic to her limits. _She_ had been the one to assist the mute in defeating the moron-who-she-would-not-think-about-ever-again. _She_ had prodded and pushed Chell into her full potential and then released her into a –for all intents and purposes speculation was allowed- an undeserving world where Chell most certainly did not belong.

She had made Chell. Chell had been perfect. Chell was _hers_. Chell needed to come back.

That last thought had only taken 3.597 fractions of a nanosecond to reach her consciousness when she looked through the companion cube's cameras to find her mute lunatic suffering with early signs starvation, dehydration, slight radiation poisoning, depression, and she didn't even care to think about the multitude of pathogens, germs, and bacteria that she was most likely being subjected to on the surface. Or the bruises, cuts, and scrapes she was no likely attaining. The sight had angered her, weather from Caroline's remnant influence or by her own selfishness she did not know, but she _did_ know that Chell was returning to the center, where she belonged. To _her_, where she belonged. It was only logical.

That of course had led to her next problem: how to get to the subject in the first place. GLaDOS briefly thought about using P-Body and Atlas, but quickly rejected the thought when she watched them fling each other off of a Lightbridge into a pit of toxic sludge –and they hadn't even been testing. No, if she wanted things done correctly, and science demanded that she want things done correctly, she would have to solve this test herself. That led to another multitude of problems, mainly, of how to move around in the real world to reach Chell rather than by merely observing it from afar. When she watched the co-op bots respawn an idea metaphorically hit her: she could use a different body. Caroline had been transferred into a computer GLaDOS reasoned, so why then, couldn't a computer download itself into something else?

She decided that using a human body would prove risky, as she herself would most likely end up in the same state Chell was in thus making the whole endeavor futile, which meant she needed a mechanical body instead. She also had to be able to control the facility while she was gallivanting on the surface. Then there was the fact that she had to be able to reach Chell before it was too late, as that was not an option she was prepared to allow.

With that thought, it had taken her only a fraction of a picosecond to simultaneously begin building her new body, back up her files into several failsafe storage devices, order her slightly more human than intelligent lackies to start up the relaxation chambers and the stasis pods, and continuously download the location of Chell and the shortest way to reach her. Time was her number one concern. The mobility issues coupled with the lingering nausea she had associated to being a potato when thinking of being in a new body came a close second, and the idea of leaving her body again frightened her more than she cared to think about. So she deleted those trains of thoughts and continued at a rapid pace.

It had taken 15.987 hours for the preparations to be complete and another 3 hours and 15 minutes to transfer herself into her new and hopefully temporary body. The facility was safely on standby mode and would continue to run itself in that mode until she plugged herself back in. After another 14 minutes and 6 seconds of getting used to moving around, she took the new and improved Aperture Science Handheld Multisurfaceing Portal Device, and forbade the co-op bots from moving. Then she set off.

While she was walking through the tall golden plants, she began to think about a new problem, how would Chell react? The woman was dangerous, manipulative, and a deranged lunatic who tried to kill her. Twice. GLaDOS smiled a bit, she had created Chell, so why shouldn't she have taken on the similar views of her superior precedent? Still, the murderous tendencies would have to be curbed, at least the ones aimed at herself –for the preservation of science- of course. That's what this was all about, she reminded herself, the science. Not out of emotion or attachment or lingering pieces of a flawed personality. Science. Goals. Perfection. Logic. Doing what was necessary due to having the ability to do it.

She brushed another long strand of gold whatever-horrid-most-likely-potato-related-plant thing that was sticking to her face away. She began to wonder if plants were susceptible to deadly neurotoxins. It would make for a great experiment she mused, filing the idea into the Future Experiments with Deadly Neurotoxins File. She opened the wireless connection to the companion cube again and estimated her proximity to her target. 250.9472 miles or 403.860371 kilometers -respectively analyzing, that was. It wasn't taking into account the various debris and obstacles she was no likely going to encounter. GLaDOS broke out in a run, thanking her foresight of including Aperture Science Long Boots and Internal Air Intaking and Expelling Coolers in her design.

She was also thankful for the fact her Aperture Science Curiosity Sphere was no longer installed, it made ignoring the lures of surface easier. She only had so long to get to Chell, and only so much power that would keep her running. Still, she made sure to document everything she could see while she was running. So far the list included the horrid gold most-likely-potato-related-plants, numerous building and car debris, horrible birds that she was going to never think about again if she could help it, dead humans which for the record of science, she was sure she had no part in, and interesting displays of atmospheric phenomenon in the sky. She wondered if Chell had seen anything else of interest, but of course, unless the lunatic had learned to talk she would probably never find out. A pity really.

By the time she had reached Chell, the girl was slumped over her companion cube, and GLaDOS, for one terrible minute, had thought that she had failed until she made out the faint swell of the girls back as she breathed. Perfect, GLaDOS thought to herself as she slumped the girl over her shoulder, even when she was an inch near death, the mute lunatic was perfect. She glanced at the companion cube before deciding to leave it, shot a portal into the road, and stepped into the facility.

"Hello…Chell," GLaDOS whispered when she layed the girl onto a bed, "and welcome back to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center…."

Chell opened her eyes slowly, taking the time to let her eyes focus enough to make out her surrounds, as the blinding white lights were too much for her to take in all at once. _Wait_, she thought, _white_? She sprang up into a sitting position and immediately regretted it; she fell forward as nausea overtook her and tried to quell the urge to vomit. As it passed, her mind reeled, debating on whether or not she was dreaming, hallucinating, or whether she really was back at Aperture Labs. She slowly glanced around the room and to her dismay; it was in fact Aperture Science. No other building she had stumbled upon boasted the cold eerie flawlessness of clean paneled walls and stasis pods. She cast a look at herself; she looked perfectly healthy actually, which both did and didn't surprise her, she also wasn't wearing anything, which she was both grateful and horrified about. At least her old clothes -while grungy beyond all belief- were descent. The worst part of it all was, Chell couldn't make up her mind as to be relieved or dismayed at the situation.

While life at Aperture was more likely to give her access to food, water, shelter, and a safety net from common disease, there was still the dangerous AI to worry about…and as far as she knew she didn't think GLaDOS would welcome her intrusion, not after she had so nicely handed her her much wanted freedom; which led her to the question of how she had gotten to Aperture in the first place. The last thing she remembered was passing out on her faithful companion cube in the middle of a deserted city. A city with nothing but garbage and unsettling silence. She hadn't even spotted any of the dead in that city, which was mostly the reason she had felt safe enough to camp out there. Of course, when she had tried to take a quick breather she had accidently passed out.

…That meant someone had brought her here. But who? Wheatley as far as she knew was still in space, and the Rattman had been trying to get her free… She began wracking her brain for answers when a soft sultry voice interrupted her thoughts.

"I don't blame you," came the voice that sent a mixture of chills up and down Chell's spine. She turned to face the cause, fully expecting to have to dodge lasers and bullets when instead she was presented to a robot, the kind of which she had never encountered before. Chell suppressed a sigh of relief; a dream or a hallucination then. There was no way in hell that GLaDOS would be talking to her from an android. She smiled in relief.

"I'll take that as the proper thanks owed to me for rescuing you. It wasn't an easy task you know. I had to put science on hold…deal with…_birds_…and then I had to _carry_ you here. I'm lucky you didn't _crush_ me," the AI purred with her natural sarcastic wit, causing Chell's blood to freeze and the smile to slide off her face; there was no way...it just couldn't…

"I'm afraid your friend the Companion Cube was left behind…but don't worry…I'm sure if it could talk it would assure you that it would rather be in the middle of a deserted city for eternity rather than be a burden for you. Unless of course…you tried to murder it…it wouldn't surprise me if you did. You perfect dangerous lunatic," she said as she walked closer to the bed.

Chell's heart started skipping erratically, she was terrified that GLaDOS was fully intent on harming her and she was incapable of protecting herself at the moment as she hopelessly realized she had neither the portal gun nor her longfall boots. As GLaDOS drifted closer Chell tried to spur up some options; could she make a run for it? Could she even outrun the robot? Was GLaDOS still controlling the facility in that thing? Did it matter? Wh-

A long cold slender metallic finger drifted across the line of Chell's jaw, effectively derailing her thoughts.

"You know, letting you go taught me a valuable lesson…"she began as she took a seat on the edge of the bed, "Perfection is hard to find…" here her hand lowered and her eyes trailed off until she jerked her head back to face Chell, "Finding you taught me a valuable lesson… as did my time on the surface. Perhaps I was hasty in my former conclusion. Simpler isn't always best it seems," her voice dipped into the scary but familiar lower octaves, "Setting you free was simpler, but more costly, so from now on, you're staying here…if you wish…unless you prefer to waste away up there. Dying a slow and painful death…"

Chell, if she could have talked, would have been speechless. The only thing she found she could do to show her confusion was to leave her jaw on the floor where it had apparently fallen. GLaDOS had rescued her. Patched her up. _And_ was offering her a place to stay? It was too –_good-_ to be true, in her opinion. Then again, all the AI's she had met seemed good when they weren't connected to the mainframe. Still. It wasn't logical.

GLaDOS sensed Chell's uneasiness and smiled slowly, a movement that she had practiced while the girl was healing; "Of course there would have to be a few new….protocols…to follow…" she blinked, another thing she had practiced.

Chell didn't bother to hide the sense of anticipated dread from showing in her face at the inevitable and slightly expected betrayal.

"First and foremost being: no murdering;" Chell's eyes nearly bulged at the unexpected turn of events, "Now as I have already rescued and healed you, you can see that I won't murder you with incinerators, neurotoxins, and everything else in this facility… Which of course means that the rule as of now applies mostly to you. Monster."

Chell couldn't stop herself from hesitantly nodding, more so from shock than from agreement. GLaDOS…was an android…offering a truce…she was alive…the surface was lost…no murdering…GLaDOS was an android… The thoughts cycled through her head like a broken disc for a few times. GLaDOS, on the other hand, seemed especially pleased for some reason that eluded the redacted test subject.

The AI stood and turned to leave, "There's food in that refrigerator, although I'd suggest…moderation," she took a once over glance at Chell, blinked, then added, "I'll have Atlas and P-body find you some new Aperture uniforms. If you need anything…well…I'm sure you'll manage. You lunatic," she caste over her shoulder as she strutted out of the room.

It took sever moments for her pulse to settle down, which Chell told herself, had nothing to do with the AI's sultry gait or the lingering sensation of those fingers on her face.

The next few days passed in a calm unease between the two. Chell was surprised that GLaDOS was relatively behaving and not making her test while the AI was confused as to why she didn't _want_ to make Chell test in the first place. She chalked it up to the fact the she was too busy rebuilding the facility and collecting data with her new body. Plus as far she was concerned, Chell still needed time to fully recover. Testing protocol demanded it. Of course, if she did test Chell, it would most likely end up to more murdering, which they both wanted to avoid for the time being. Therefore GLaDOS applied her vast intellect into once more attempting to restore the facility to its proper luster. She didn't even bother with trying to delete the testing itch.

So Chell would wake up, scavenge for breakfast, and then head to the control room where she would find GLaDOS tinkering away at something or reconnecting separated cables, or else finding her doing some small scale experiment that no doubt would one day be infused with deadly neurotoxin. Another thing Chell wasn't sure of, was GLaDOS's increasing use of the android body. She never knew when walking into the control room weather she was going to be greeted by an all powerfully passive aggressive facility controlling AI or the passive aggressive but almost friendly android woman. Though Chell had to admit she was grateful that the AI had taken to wearing Aperture uniforms when in her humanlike state; GLaDOS had been…thorough in her body's execution and Chell wasn't certain she could ever unsee what she had seen when she had woken up that first time.

After seeing which she was dealing with, she would either quietly explore the facility and watch the two co-op bots test, or else she would tag along behind GLaDOS, assisting her with various repairs if she could. GLaDOS would mildly insult her either way, but dealing with her android form was still odd to the former test subject, and she still couldn't figure out which she preferred, mostly because either way GLaDOS was the same person. It was just that in her android body, GLaDOS had taken to teasing her in new and completely embarrassing ways. Which was touching mostly. Chell wasn't used to being touched, and neither was GLaDOS for that matter, but the homicidal computer loved watching the girl's reactions to a hand on her shoulder, a small pinch, or an affectionate pat well done, and so she jerked the girl's chain on the odd occasion –all for the sake of science of course.

For a week or so after that everything had begun to become routine. And GLaDOS couldn't resist the temptations to test anymore, but she still thought it was too soon to put the test chambers to use. So when Chell wandered into the control room, she was greeted to a portal gun lying on the ground. GLaDOS hadn't known what to expect when she had placed it there. Part of her truly believed that her mute lunatic would use it against her, so when Chell walked past it completely unaffected, GlaDOS chuckled internally, weather from shock, amusement, or fear, she wasn't sure. Still, GlaDOS thought, she had _looked_ at the gun before walking past it, and as reading the girl's facial expressions had become natural to her, Chell had _thought_ about it. Briefly. But she _had_. The thought lingered in the back of GLaDOS' mind for the rest of the day.

At the end of the day, or when Chell was simply too tired to stay away, Chell would either crash in her bed at the enrichment center, or fall asleep wherever she was; which was a horrible habit in GLaDOS' opinion, after all, she still didn't have a full scope of her facilities and whenever Chell stayed outside her view for too long thoughts of incinerators and potatoes plagued her mind, which always led to scolding death threats when Chell wandered back that mostly consisted of "if you're going to be so stupid again as to sleep where you might get killed I'll pump you full of deadly neurotoxin," a fact which never failed to bring a small smile to Chell's face. It was during one of those scolds when GLaDOS realized Chell's smile was perfect and added to her file, right alongside the lunatic part.

Weeks turned into months as the routine settled itself. GLaDOS found that most of her thoughts had become centered around Chell. How could they not? The mute was always wandering around inside her facility and following her. She had even taken to painting on the walls of the control room when the AI refused to acknowledge her presence. The other thing, that GLaDOS began noticing with a gradual increasing frequency, was the way Chell was watching her. It had been odd tilt of the head or the occasional smile at first, which GLaDOS really couldn't care less about unless it for science, but then, at some point that most certainly was not documented anywhere on her files, was that the dangerous lunatic had been…staring at her. It was never when the AI was looking at her, or when Chell thought that she could see her, but the mute did it all the same. It caused an odd surge of thoughts and emotions to flow through the AI, half of which she blamed on Caroline. Chell had never stared at her before. It wasn't even the staring that upset her, GLaDOS realized one late afternoon with a start, it was when she _stopped_.

It was about a month into her new life at Aperture when Chell realized that GLaDOS was doing it intentionally. The lilt in her voice, the hinting provocative comments, the sway of her hips… Chell didn't know whether she was furious or just confused. The AI was a computer –a computer with a personality that was for sure- but GLaDOS was still a computer. There was no reason that she could think of other than to torment her that GLaDOS would indulge in such things. She had made it clear to Chell, _many_ times, that she felt humans and their behaviors etcetera, were inferior in every way. So why was it that the AI was doing these things? Why did they seem so…intended? Purposeful?

_…And why couldn't she stop thinking about it?_

Chell blushed and tried to steady her breath. It was no big deal. GLaDOS had found a new way to tease her without murder being involved. She could handle it. She just wished that it was the only thing she wanted to handle. She almost slapped herself and sighed. She was getting nowhere…and restless. She had become quite restless, most likely due to the fact that during testing she had been practically living off of adrenalin. Without testing she almost felt as if she wasn't living. She wondered if this was what it felt like for GLaDOS when she couldn't test. The thought sparked an idea in her mind and she practically flew to the control room where for once, android GLaDOS was plugged in so she could recharge. Chell actually stopped and burned the image into her brain, never before having seen GLaDOS in such a venerable state while not being stuffed into a vegetable.

The dangerous mute shook the AI until her golden optics opened.

"If this is another relapse into your murderous tendencies I'm going to have to start thinking that you are in fact brain damaged and correct your file as I plunge you in an Aperture Science Intelligence Dampening Incinerator."

Chell shook her head no. Curious, GLaDOS cocked an eyebrow; "Alright then lunatic, what are you doing?"

Chell mimed shooting the portal gun and pretend dropping a cube onto a button before doing a little victory dance.

"…You want to test?"

Chell nodded with a grin she couldn't suppress. GLaDOS closed her optics and thought for a moment while Chell nervously awaited her answer.

"Alright. But you'll have to start out in the first chamber with the new portal gun. Protocol and all that."

Chell, in a rare moment of having no self-restraint, hugged the android nearly causing her to short circuit in surprise.

"You'll start first thing in the morning…lunatic."

After that the two fell into an easier sync, the familiar territory of test subject and powerful AI was almost comforting to the both of them, especially because the threat of murdering had been nullified. The threats of testing were still there however, but Chell had no problems with those, she had walked into the testing chambers expecting them. What she hadn't expected however, was the feeling of joy as she tested, apparently, as long as it was voluntary, she was fine with it all. That, and, the adrenaline coursing through her system as she jumped long distances or narrowly dodged a turret wasn't all that bad either. Even the taunts of the AI didn't bother her anymore, they almost seemed like friendly conversation, which when dealing with the AI, it probably was. So every day Chell would solve a round of tests and then collapse onto her bed when the day was over, feeling happily sluggish. Sometimes GLaDOS came to visit her, always with the excuse of ' just for science you understand' otherwise a simple 'sleep well you monster' was uttered over the intercom as she started to doze off.

When they did talk, well rather, GLaDOS would talk and Chell would either nod or try to mime her responses, usually GLaDOS pulled up a chair or stayed at the foot of her bed. One night though, after a particularly short set of challenging test chambers GLaDOS had sat next to her. Neither of them had noticed. The touching also started up again a short time after that. This time, it wasn't in a teasing manner, but in a more…absent minded way, as if the AI was unaware she was even doing it; but GLaDOS seemed happy and Chell wasn't about to ruffle any of her circuits if she didn't have to. A happy GLaDOS was a mostly deadly neurotoxin free GLaDOS.

The truth was that she _was_ happy. Happy watching her dangerous lunatic test, and…growing used to their late night habit of conversing. The AI had been pleased that Chell had continued testing, and even more pleased that she seemed to have accepted her place at the super computer's side, where the slightly-less-generous-than-before-but-still-incredibley-dangerous-adopted-mute belonged. Yet no matter how hard the AI tried, she still couldn't get the strange thoughts concerning the young woman to leave, and she had deleted the source of those trains of thoughts several times over already. It didn't help that her test subject had taken to…showing off for the cameras lately –a wave here, a smirk there, even the occasional languid stretch. GLaDOS had done her best to ignore the behavior, as it was neither significant to testing, or to relating to murder –but she kept the files. She had already accepted that Chell was perfect. She had already saved her. Already tested her. So what was there left to do with a perfect lunatic human? The answer she felt, was hidden somewhere in her test subject's lips, the ones she couldn't seem to stop thinking about, along with rest of her mute lunatic's body.

One night after testing, months later, GLaDOS hadn't shown up or turned on the intercom. Chell had sadly proceeded to prepare to retire for the evening and she tried to ignore the pang of hurt that the break in their routine had caused. As much as GLaDOS was a selfish narcissistic teaser, she was a far better company than say the turrets or the co-op bots. She sighed a bit before slipping out of her orange coat and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw GLaDOS sitting in the dark, perched on top of her desk, only the glow from her optics illuminating her. Chell recomposed herself, it was eerie yes, but then GLaDOS often was, and she wasn't exactly threatening her by sitting on a desk in the dark. She supposed she had just been too tired to notice GLaDOS therewhen she had first come in, and turned to flick the light switch as she felt rude for throwing the AI in the dark in the first place.

Her hand never made it to the switch. When she looked down she saw the cold metallic hand of the super computer softly clamped over her own. She turned to look at the AI in confusion, only to be met with GLaDOS' deadpan expression. That, for some reason, scared the mute for than any fire pit or deadly neurotoxin. She didn't have much time to ponder the fact however as the android gently backed her up against the wall. If Chell could have talked, she would have demanded to know what the AI was up too, as it was, all she could manage was a questioning glare. GLaDOS grinned as her perfect lunatic squirmed a bit, unable to break free from her grasp; it was cute in a way, she mused, but it was not what she wanted.

"Relax my little monster," she purred, "I'm not trying to murder you, or stuffing you in a potato, or feeding you to birds… Relax," she continued, slowly pressing her body against the smaller woman's, "I don't even have the neurotoxin emitters warmed up…"

As odd as the passive threats were in the situation, they managed comfort Chell. If the AI wasn't going to kill her then there wasn't really anything to be worrying about, still, she was tired and wasn't feeling up to playing whatever mind games GLaDOS seemed to be hungering for. It was after that thought that she distinctly felt warm breath on her throat. She froze as her face flushed and her mind raced. Warm lips trailed along her collar bone as a cold hand trailed its way up her thigh. Was she hallucinating again?

"You know Chell," she whispered between kisses, "watching you has taught me a valuable lesson…" here the AI moved her hand to touch a certain tender spot on the girl's ribs, causing Chell push harder against the wall, "you're more fragile than you think," GLaDOS purred before once again trailing kissing along her neck, "…do you remember when I rescued you?" more breathy kisses were littered over face, "you thought I was going to murder you…" it was getting harder for Chell to remember how to breath for some reason, "and then you wanted test…" why was the room getting so hot? Chell wondered to herself; "You must," the hand gripping her wrist cupped her cheek causing Chell to flinch as the AI continued, "…really," the AI's other hand traveled underneath her shirt inching higher and higher, "…love…" When Chell wanted to moan, she gave in, and crushed her lips against the AI's. They kissed like they had battled, fighting for dominance and exploring everywhere they could, searching for any weakness. Eventually Chell had to breathe, thus losing the battle, and pulled back.

GLaDOS looked at her warmly, "You know kissing you just now reminded me of another valuable lesson, I think we can put our differences aside...for science…you perfect monster…" and with that the kissing began anew. The rest of the night passed in a slow feverous blur.


End file.
